Joke Time! Writing humor and gags worth a giggle

Writing can be serious business. So today I want to lighten the mood by sharing a few of my favorite writing jokes and gag gifts.

Sadistic Mouse

Want to keep a writer productive? Gift them this chocolate bar ice cream sandwich mouse, from Amazon. Tell them they can have the real thing when they make deadline. We really will work for food--if it's yummy enough!

Exception to the Rule

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Identifying interesting interview angles & subjects

Interview, originally uploaded by smiling_da_vinci.

 It would be nice to have instant access to the most famous or obviously newsworthy people on any given subject we're writing. While it doesn't often work that way, freelance journalists can still dig up some interesting people to interview on any given subject. All you need is an angle.

Writing about a movie? Interview real life people who have been in a character's situation or worked in the portrayed profession. Talk to fans.

Political news breaking? Get the opinion of lesser known or retired politicians. Talk to the people who the news will affect. 

Big event? Look for the smaller story within the larger picture. Go after that interview. Here is an excellent recent example by freelance writer Marie Anne St. Jean: "Dogs of the Titanic: a Dozen Aboard, Three Survived."

Here's a harebrained idea.. drop that horrific client

Wave buh-bye to terrible clients. 

Seriously. Just do it. Live longer.

Yeah, it sounds crazy to fire a paying client. Maybe also a little tempting?

Don't get too eager--I'm talking about that client that gives you nightmares, fills your days with dread and prompts spontaneous bouts of sobbing at the thought of writing for them.

You know which one I'm talking about. They are literally ruining--and stressing years off of--your life.

Be professional, but tell them your writing services will no longer be available after x amount of time.

Then take a minute to breathe and go out and find a better client. Actually, you may want to do that last part first, depending on the severity of your situation. Just don't remain trapped in a cycle of unhappiness and unrealistic

Google Plus: Balancing socializing and promotion

It's hard to tell if my friends are really beginning to use Google+ or if my circles are just growing. Either way, it's been months since my news feed could span days in a few seconds. Which meant I could check in a few times a week and be all caught up.

It has expanded to a social network that I need to be tuning into daily, but at first it was hard to break my less frequent habits. For me, Google+ was just, well, forgettable. 

Which was slightly mystifying, since I enjoy the design, functionality and customization. 

Was it just one too many social networks to handle? Perhaps, but months after joining I added Pinterest and Empire Avenue to my daily routine.

Freelancer Fantasy: A fiction writing vacation

The perfect writing spot: Decatur Street, New Orleans.

Lately my mind has been wistfully conjuring images myself typing away as indifferent strangers pass by with unknown purpose, shrouded in the mystique of a locale that thrives on its crush of humanity.

Now that would be a proper writing vacation.

Err.. What was that about enthusiastically embracing new writing endeavors?

An A to Z Throwback Thursday

For my 'E' post last year, I wrote about "Enthusiastically Embracing New Writing Endeavors" and I guess it's time to fess up to my success...and failure.

Of the two new projects I mentioned in the post, Pundit This is off the ground and running. My dream of turning it into a website and featuring the political voices of average Americans has come true. We are on to building readership, consistency--both of which already far exceed

Dogs: Taking care of writers since 2008

Okay, maybe the year just applies to me, but my canine companions definitely get credit for keeping this writer healthy. Which is important, because if I'm not feeling well--I'm not thinking well. And unclear thinking leads to sloppy writing.

My canine caregivers.

No, I don't have a trio of Doggie Bowser, MDs on my hands. Just normal, lovably active dogs.

As a primarily online freelance writer, it's not hard to get lost for hours down the internet rabbit hole. There are days where I'm so engrossed in what I'm writing that it's doubtful I would leave